October 2007

Didn't lead to anywhere in the end, but I tell you what, I got a physical arousal from watching Bojan there.
Ray Hudson, Villarreal vs Barcelona, October 20th

Runners-up

What a goal this is, we will be treated like a big ice-cream sundae. Watch this, it's all van Nistelrooy. Magic from old horsey-face. He turns this little note into a verse and then into a choir
Ray Hudson, Valencia vs Real Madrid, October 31st

A goal is a dream with a deadline. And this one is a wet dream.
Ray Hudson, Valencia vs Real Madrid, October 31st

September 2007

Better balance than a one-legged man standing in a hammock, Lionel Messi. Like Hannibal Lecter he skins them alive.
Ray Hudson, Levante vs Barcelona, September 29th

Runners-up

Lady Luck showed her big, ugly, fat, cellulite-laden backside to Betis, and smiled a lovely, diamond grin at Real Madrid here tonight.
Ray Hudson, Real Madrid vs Real Betis, September 27th

Looks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex with hemorrhoids. Angry!
Ray Hudson, Italy vs France, September 8th

Defending this team, it's like trying to nail Jello to the ceiling, mission impossible.
Ray Hudson, Barcelona vs Real Zaragoza, September 26th

August 2007

Slipperier than an eel covered in Vaseline...
Ray Hudson, Valencia vs Villarreal, August 26th

Runners-up

The Crouchasaurus strikes again. Telling ya, footballer! Most unorthodox player, probably, in world football, but his technique is sweet and his danger is omnipresent.
Ray Hudson, Liverpool vs Toulouse, August 28th

They'll be shaking their castanets tonight.
Ray Hudson, Sevilla vs Getafe, August 25th

June/July 2007

It's Riquelme, man, it'll always be Riquelme. Heinze jumps up like Rudolf Nureyev, beautiful, stabs it home but it's Riquelme, man, it looks impossible like pouring a pint of beer into a shot glass, not for Riquelme, magic.
Ray Hudson, Mexico vs Argentina, July 11th

Runners up

Matador. Look at him, so languid, look at him walking. He's like a big, beautiful zombie, Riquelme, like a big, beautiful zombie. He just strolls around languid like, like smoke off a cigarette, you know. And then he jump out and just draw your blood.
Ray Hudson, Mexico vs Argentina, July 11th

Get down on your hands and knees and thank us all for giving you the pictures of an absolute artisan of the modern game ... he's Einstein man, he's from the stars, just love him, anybody who doesn't see it I really truly feel sorry for you, Phil, really I do.
Ray Hudson, Uruguay vs Brazil, July 10th

May 2007

The Argentine delivers for Capello, sending this crowd into orgasm. There'll be a lot of amore going on in the beds of Real Madrid tonight, let me tell you, and the aftershave will be flowing.
Ray Hudson, Real Madrid vs Espanyol, May 12th

Runners-up

It wouldn't get any more exciting here now if Elvis himself showed up in a matador's outfit.
Ray Hudson, Barcelona vs Getafe, May 26th

I've no more words, I cannot express this because you're gonna have to invent a new language in English.
Ray Hudson, Recreativo Huelva vs Real Madrid, May 20th

April 2007

Barcelona were like a three pound chicken trying to lay a four pound egg, just constipated in front of goal.
Ray Hudson, Villarreal vs Barcelona, April 22nd

Runners-up

Ah, the blood's flowing, that's alright, that should be on the inside of his head of course so that's not a good sign.
Ray Hudson, Valencia vs Sevilla, April 15th

The complete article for me. Holds it up so well, tremendous player in the air, passes the ball beautifully short over distance, he's greyhound-quick, and he scores goals, you can't ask for much more. Plus he's Dutch which is even bigger benefit.
Ray Hudson, Athletic Bilbao vs Real Madrid, April 29th